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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Thomas "TigerWolf" Wilson's LiveJournal:

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    Saturday, June 21st, 2008
    2:40 am
    err tryin to get creative again..
    so ya i am trying to get creative and start writing again. It's been so long since i have written anything. So little in my life has changed... i still have my issues in my head, i still rot my brain in front of computer video games most the time when i'm not at work, always in and out of fucked up relationships, always broke, so ya f*ckit.

    At any rate this is my attempt to get back into it, the usual dark and brooding intro, but i tried to end it on a lighter note since ya most everything i've written is always just completely dark very little with any real hope or happiness to it, and it gets old writing about the same f*ckin sh*t all the time.

    But like most writers, we write about our life and our experiences in it... and while i've experienced a lot at an early age unfortunately.. it's still a lot of the same... death, sadness, heartache, and just the general insanity that goes along with being born with bi-polar disorder.

    My personal view on this piece... definately not my best. My best work is always my dark sh*t, but eh at least I'm trying again right? since it's been several years now since I've written anything. Anyways here it is, it's meant to be a lyrical piece, so keep that in mind, but feel free to pass judgement upon it, i don't care if it's completely harsh or if it's positive, as long as it's the truth.

    Isolation

    {intro}
    Imprison yourself
    Inside your mind
    Lock your doors
    Run away and hide
    Buried in torment
    Of your own creation
    Quit your fucking crying
    For you're the only one to blame

    All you ever do is whine
    Crying about
    how bad your life is
    Sit around and mope
    Drinking into a stupor
    Smoking your brains out
    You selfish little bitch
    It's your own damn fault

    {Chorus}
    Get up
    Get out
    Shut up
    And get it done
    Free yourself
    You alone
    Noone else
    All of this
    It's up to you

    Self absorbed isolation
    Childish bullshit
    Just grow the fuck up
    Put the bottle down
    Get your ass outside
    Pick up the phone and call
    Family and friends care
    Just make the effort

    {Chorus}
    Get up
    Get out
    Shut up
    And get it done
    Free yourself
    You alone
    Noone else
    All of this

    {Outro}
    The desperation
    All for nothing
    Open the door
    Let someone inside
    Show this fucked up world
    You will not duck and run
    But stand up and fight it
    And make your own self happy

    Current Mood: cranky
    Current Music: Cold - Kill The Music Industry
    Thursday, May 22nd, 2008
    4:37 pm
    ...!
    wow i still have this thing? and damn is that pic old maybe should change it.... or not, i'm being lazy as usual.
    Monday, September 18th, 2006
    9:29 pm
    *shrug* posted this on myspace might as well post it here for my FL friends....
    Never fails, shit always goes wrong closer it gets to my b-day... and people wonder why i hate it so much? grr..... anyways back to the trying to find a roommate bit again. Current one is being given the boot by the managers for violating some rules (couple people were told not to come on the premises again and well they came over with him to get some of their stuff they left behind. Unfortunately since I was at work all that day and they didn't talk to the managers first about the situation, he has to be out by end of the month or both of us will be forced to leave, and honestly i kinda like my apartment dammit have been here over a year now).... Anyways:

    I have 12 days to find someone that can move in and pay the 275 for their half of October. 2 bedroom apt (so yes you will have your own room, right across from the bathroom even so no stumbling through a dark place to piss in the middle of the nite). Already have a lot of furniture (about only thing you'd need is a bed and dresser for your room, maybe some hangers... I already have a light and fan in there as well as a small nightstand that has 2 small drawers on it as well that you can use). Cable internet is already here and I pay for that myself, so if have a computer already with network card (not wireless though, router requires ethernet port) can hook you up for nothing, though if no computer will be allowed some access to my own (albeit slightly limited as, well, I have to use it for quite a bit). As stated rent is 275 a month per person (total of 550), plus half the electric (usually never more than 100 per person, total of 200). I already have plenty of dishes as well available for use. Will of course have to buy your own food (i rarely grocery shop, generally eat at work or eat out). Already have microwave (it's a piece of shit but it works), pots, pans, etc.

    Don't have a tv for living room however unfortunately... just have a small one in my room currently with a ps2, though computer in living room (with damn near same size screen as my tv lol) that can play dvd's if want to watch a movie. Do not have cable TV, if want it, i can get it hooked up just you would have to pay the difference on the bill for it (since i have bright house for internet think would only be like 40 a month for basic) and of course provide your own tv for it heh.

    Rent is due on the 1st of each month, electric usually due first week of each month. Cable usually around mid-month (as said internet i pay for already so it's not a concern, just if you want cable tv hooked up). So total roughly it's 375 per person at beginning of each month (myself and whoever decides to move in...).

    Apartment is in downtown Dunedin fairly close to the water (like 2 blocks away lol) but also crawling distance from all the small bars. No parties allowed unfortunately (damn quiet neighborhood... is part of problem with the last roommate as well unfortunately, kinda sucks), people allowed over as long as noise levels kept at a moderate level. I don't mind people being over honestly as long as not tearing up the place or getting me in trouble =x. Anyways.... friends if wanna help spread the word is appreciated *sigh*.... i hate this crap. Help?
    Sunday, September 17th, 2006
    1:45 am
    meh.... Paleo-Liberal *shrug* k close enough
    So ya btw... anyways, found out the growth was just an overactive oil gland near my eardrum that caused an infection (hence the hearing problems)... whew. bleh other news.... life going to shit, nothing really new there. Details when I feel like typing and am not updating at almost 2am when i have to be up at 9am for work.


    Paleo-Liberal

    You scored 71% Personal Liberty and 40% Economic Liberty!

    A paleo-liberal believes in low to moderate government intervention on personal matters and moderate government intervention on economic matters. They tend to be opposed to war, police powers and victimless crimes. They believe in a social safety net, but to a lesser extent then most leftists. They generally believe in protecting personal liberty. They support self-ownership and privacy. Some Paleo-liberals may lean towards embracing capitalism as an economic system. Paleo-liberals are reminiscent of the attitude of the "new left" of the 60's and 70's. Strong Paleo-Liberals border on Libertarianism.












    My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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    You scored higher than 77% on Personal
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    You scored higher than 59% on Economic




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    Current Mood: the usual
    Current Music: Drop Dead Syndicate - Broken
    Wednesday, September 13th, 2006
    2:52 am
    hate hospitals......
    So ya, had to goto the ER in the afternoon and get some fucked up growth removed from behind my left ear. Kinda has me nervous since they don't really know what it was, I won't even find out myself until Thursday when I have to go get the bandages removed and they get the test results back. It's one of 2 things and i'm kinda stressin... Was either just an abscesce (staph infection of some sort), but it could've also been a tumor.... so ya i'm a bit tweaked. Blech.

    Factor in my life really going to shit as usual, and just stressin me and shit *sigh* Just want to cry but I've been doin that so much my eyes are dried all to hell, so can't. Just blah i don't know......

    Current Mood: scared
    Current Music: Aiden - The Last Sunrise (Dusk Mix)
    Sunday, August 20th, 2006
    12:47 pm
    What next?
    *sigh* damn truck overheats on me while at work on thursday, so i have to miss work friday. Change out thermostat saturday cuz it was shot, truck seems fine running around for rest of day. Get to work this morning, open the store and get it all setup... look outside and huge frickin pool of anti-freeze under the damn piece of shit I call my truck. Blah. And I can't seem to pinpoint the leak either *grumble*... so yet again missing more work, since well can't get it into the shop till tomorrow and i'm supposed to work tomorrow $!@#‰!#.... Thomas wants to shoot his truck *sigh*.... what next?

    Current Mood: Pissed and depressed....
    Current Music: Fable - Sphere of Hostilities
    Saturday, July 29th, 2006
    8:17 pm
    Pins and needles and ink
    New tat on back of my neck....


    Current Mood: lonely
    Current Music: nadda
    Friday, June 23rd, 2006
    7:30 pm
    blech, more money spent....
    *grumble* k, let's see last week got pinkeye, yay blech, so had to leave work early friday and goto the er to get it looked at, script for the eyedrops cost me 70 bucks blah, there went half my paycheck (c'mon paid weekly and it's a tip job, paychecks only have my cash for the week usually)...

    Anyways, now today a week later, my starter on my truck is about to goto s**t completely, no warning other than today it just started being stupid and making nice grinding noises when i turn the key. So I have to go shell out 90 + tax for a new one, and get not quite 30 of that back when i turn in the old one.... either way 60 bucks gone again.... what next d*mmit?

    Trying to get enough to get a new phone and get rid of this damn pre-paid s**t (phone cards for it cost me 120 last week) so everyone that all of a sudden wants to keep calling me actually can while i still have it for work. Forced myself to pick up an extra shift on tuesday at another store for overtime and some extra tip money just to try to make up for all this crap i'm having to spend money on. *sigh* Plus i still have to pay 70 for my insurance for the month and another 35 towards that stupid ticket I got back in Dec, while still tryin to set aside money for rent and electric... Blah, hate it, finally start to get my bills organized and makin some decent cash and actually havin money to go out with and this s**t happens... grr.

    Current Mood: pissed off
    Current Music: Neo Geisha - Zeromancer
    Sunday, June 11th, 2006
    7:43 pm
    Tat's...
    *shrug* let's see how well this work in tryin to post the pics of my recent inkage...

    My logo which I got back in March? left arm

    Pic taken saturday, tat gotten on 6/6/06 ;p right arm

    Current Mood: meh...
    Current Music: End of Heartache - Killswitch Engage
    Tuesday, June 6th, 2006
    4:52 pm
    New tattoo, yay, whee
    Got myself another tattoo. Right bi-cep, Pentacle with some celtic knotwork done up around it, black and red =). Hopefully i can find someone with a digital camera soon so i can post a pic of it along with my other recent one of my logo on my left bi-cep. Other than that, *shrug* a lot going on but nothing I really want to talk about at the moment so maybe later...

    Current Mood: Whee
    Current Music: Within Me - Lacuna Coil
    Sunday, May 28th, 2006
    7:16 pm
    New Work Schedule
    New schedule at work, no more scheduled overtime (for now)...

    Sunday, Monday, Thursday, Friday: 10am-8pm
    Tuesday, Wednsday, Saturday: Off

    *shrug* so ya that's it for now....

    Current Mood: tired
    Current Music: Nymphetamine - Cradle of Filth
    Wednesday, May 24th, 2006
    1:28 pm
    hrm, new result from an old quiz...






    The ULTIMATE personality test




    Masochist
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    Current Mood: blah
    Current Music: End of Heartache - Killswitch Engage
    Saturday, May 13th, 2006
    1:14 am
    meh *shrug*
    so ya went out to the castle, not for long though *shrug* as if couldn't tell since i'm home and posting already. Breakfast at Martin's again tomorrow. work has me doing scheduled overtime again due to people quitting and not enough people to cover shifts. whee. bleh.

    http://www.myspace.com/tigerwolf tis me on the myspace bandwagon, add me if haven't already (have had it for a while just don't remember if i ever posted it here).

    K so in other words, same shit but not sure if different day....

    Current Mood: bash head thru wall? *shrug*
    Current Music: Rapture - Hurt
    Sunday, May 7th, 2006
    1:03 pm
    meh
    I am nerdier than 82% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

    Current Mood: groggy
    Current Music: idk, something by HIM was playing...
    Saturday, April 22nd, 2006
    9:09 pm
    ya i'm horrible, i know......
    I really should maybe update more often so people know i still draw breath. Should also probably read things a bit more often so I know wtf is goin on with the people i refer to as friends. Just now reading that my buddy Sharon is movin on me =x. Grr. Gotta at least catch up with her at some point to make sure to get in my farewells and such dammit. Hrm, my job is seriously going to shit, I'm trying to find a new one but well do to my pickiness I'm not finding a lot out there. Trying to avoid food, tired of always dealing with food jobs. Trying to find something where I know I can finally be put in charge etc. Even my counselor pointed out it's something I need. *sigh* Unfortunately people don't generally take ye all too seriously when ye tell them ye were a manager at a movie theatre or that ye were in charge of yer squad in the military even though only an E-3 and a young E-3 at that (20 years old when I got out). bleh. My boss just pissing me off. Been telling me he was going to at least give me a raise since he took over back in January and I have yet to see anything of that, and all I ever get from him is "I'm working on it" when there is no working on it, all he has to do is put it in the computer to give me the raise, file the paperwork for my review and inform his boss that he gave me the raise and why. That simple, but he's not doing it because he's all bitter that they want give him his old job back as an area supervisor. So ya, I need outta there. Outside of that not a lot going on atm. Though I did actually go out and be social today hangin out with Sandra, Martin, Ted, Bill, Ted's wife (laurrel?), Bill's g/f, and um some other girl that I can't remember the name of. Notice of course I mostly talked to the guys since I actually remembered their names lol. So ya, that's about it *shrug*...

    Current Music: Rapture - Hurt
    Friday, March 24th, 2006
    6:46 pm
    nadda new
    same shit different day really, just struggling to pay the damn bills as my job is kinda going to shit as far as tips and business goes, bleh. hrm, that's about it really. Going to ren-faire though finally on sunday. Have never been to one as when I was in ND the closest one was in Minneapolis (10+ hour drive from where I was), and just haven't been able to since I've been in FL. Should definately be fun, however....... *cry* I HAVE NO GARB! =\ All my old S.C.A. stuff was ruined or taken by my ex-wife (which she then sold for a good amount of money which sucks since I had made all of it). So I get to be in normal clothes unfortunately, and of course still broke so no way to buy anything while there, just get to see it basically... *sigh* maybe next year will be better... so ya, that's about it, time to change outta work clothes to go watch V for Vendetta with Liz and her friends, should be interesting.

    Current Music: The Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang
    Monday, March 6th, 2006
    9:51 am
    Orlando posted
    that was a fun lil' trip, got to see Dropkick Murpheys at House of Blues, definately a good show. Opening bands The Tossers and Sick of it All. Supposed to have been another, HorrorPops or something like that but their bus broke down I guess on the way there *shrug* though from what I heard no big loss. The Tossers were good, Irish folksie type punk, very well done though, definately liked it. Sick of it All = meh, just another screaming punk/metal band, like there's not a shitton of those out there already. Dropkick definately put on a good show though, even got like half the girls that were at the show up on the stage when they sang Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced. Then of course encore comes up and they get like half the guys up on the stage lol. Very cool people and just awesome show. Okies, anyways, off to work.

    Current Music: Zombies - The Cranberries
    Saturday, March 4th, 2006
    7:22 pm
    Dropkick......
    Goin to orlando tomorrow, first time actually just gone to Orlando, and not disney or seaworld or some other park... just goin to orlando. Albeit it's mostly to see Dropkick Murpheys at House of Blues, but still gonna just make a day outta it. Should be fun ;p.

    Current Music: Beyond Time - Apocalyptica
    Thursday, March 2nd, 2006
    5:53 pm
    random quiz..... haven't done one in a while ;p
    The Moon Card
    You are the Moon card. Entering the Moon we enter

    the intuitive and psychic realms. This is the

    stuff dreams are made on. And like dreams the

    imagery we find here may inspire us or

    torment us. Understanding the moon requires

    looking within. Our own bodily rhythms are

    echoed in this luminary that circles the

    earth every month and reflects the sun in its

    progress. Listening to those rhythms may

    produce visions and lead you towards insight.

    The Moon is a force that has legends attached

    to it. It carries with it both romance and

    insanity. Moonlight reveals itself as an

    illusion and it is only those willing to work

    with the force of dreams that are able to

    withstand this reflective light. Image from:

    Stevee Postman. http://www.stevee.com/


    Which Tarot Card Are You?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    Current Mood: music is life...
    Current Music: Life Burns! - Apocalyptica
    Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006
    10:57 pm
    Inkage
    got new tattoo, my lil' logo that i sometimes use for an icon on here that i drew back when i was 19. the yin-yang style heart and thorns, got it on my left arm around bi-cep area. will post a pic when i can get one (i don't have a digital camera and can't find my web-cam though web-cam pics never really do them justice anyways). hrm, ya about it.

    Current Mood: ooh, it burns...
    Current Music: Bloodline - Cruxshadows
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